How to get your partner 'onboard' with your finances

Written by
Terry Condon
Have you ever wondered why some couples achieve their financial goals much faster than others?

In this article, I’m going to share with you the most crucial, yet overlooked step most couples miss.

After working with hundreds of couples over the years, this is the one golden thread that unites the most successful.

It’s how couples like Brooke and John went from working hard for little reward, to working smart and smashing their lifestyle and financial goals together.

Or Helen and Chace, who had different ideas about money, but found their groove and started making big money moves.

There is a moment in time where it just ‘clicks’ for every couple. In that moment, money takes on a new source of meaning.

It’s not a ‘job to be done’ anymore.

In an instant it has transformed into a tool they get to use to live the life they want.

I like to call it financial synergy.

I always know when a couple has achieved financial synergy, because I notice a few clear signs:

🪧 They’re both looking forward to their future (instead of being worried about it)

🪧 They start thinking and talking on a much longer timeline.

🪧 They start addressing the issues they know had been holding them back.

Once I see these ‘signs’ I know that motivation is not a factor. Now, success is simply a matter of time.

But how do you achieve financial synergy?

Like a chemical reaction, it’s something that needs to be catalysed.

And this is where most couples go wrong.

They decide they want to get serious about money, and proceed to jump right into a spreadsheet or their bank statements.

Or they read a book on budgeting (that sends them right into a spreadsheet or bank statements).

They get busy.

They start calling their banks.

They start cancelling cards.

They cull their subscriptions.

And at first, this creates a sense of momentum. The simple act of taking action alleviates anxiety.

But like a NY firecracker, it fizzles out pretty quick.

So how can you avoid this fate?

In the words of Steven Covey:

You need to begin with the end in mind.

This means you need to stop, take a step back and get really introspective.

You cannot optimise your money, unless you know what you’re optimising for.

So, how do you do this?

Well, we ask and answer a series of questions that get you to focus on something we all tend to ignore.

The value of time.

Deep down, we all know time is our most precious asset. We only get one life, and it’s always shorter than we’d like.

And the moment you stop distracting yourself from this reality, is the moment your values come into focus.

And that’s important. Because to define wealth, you need to declare your values.

Wealth is having more of what you value. Money is the way we measure and move value.

In other words, wealth is what we want.

Money is how we get what we want.

They're not the same thing.

You cannot effectively manage your money if you don’t know or won’t say what you really want.

You need to make it so clear that you can see it when you say it.

This is done by using your values as a lens to craft a shared vision you that excites and inspires you. Both as a couple, but also as individuals.

Let me give you an example of what this looks like in practice.

‘We want to travel’ is a pretty common one’.

Points for declaring the want. But this needs alot of work. I cannot see it when I say it.

Here’s how this could be clarified:

“We want to sit on a back porch in a boutique Vinyard in the south of France and sip wine while the sun sets”.

THAT I can see.

And seeing is believing.

This sets up a powerful bias in the brain.

It’s called a conviction bias.

The more you can see something, the easier it is to believe it. And the more you believe you can achieve it, the more committing you are to becoming the kind of person worthy of realising it.

The act of sitting down to design every aspect of your life is called future authoring.

And it’s the first practice in our money mapping method.

We encourage our couples to do this every year.

This is how we help couples shift from being ‘interested’ in achieving their financial goals to committed.

It’s a powerful conversation. And we’ve had many tell us its the most important conversation they’d never had.

But what happens after this is crucial...

You need to channel this energy into a clear set of steps you can take toward it.

And in our next live workshop I’ll show you the four additional practices we teach as part of the money mapping method. This is the roadmap to results.

I spent 6 months figuring out how to break this down to make it easy to access.

And collated all the evidence that explains exactly how and why this new money method works.

If you want to know how you can use this method to achieve your own ambitions, click here to register now.

See you there :)

P.S. In this webinar I'll also be revealing our world first tech. You've never seen anything like this before. It is the only tool that leverages the best insights of behaviour science, gamification and positive psychology to help you work together to achieve your financial goals.